Shopping Adventures

So today we had to go shopping to pick up some things for us to wear on Easter Sunday tomorrow. I needed a slip to go under my white sundress (which I'm wearing onstage under some hot spotlights so Momma insisted that I get a slip so the audience didn't get to see my skivvies), and Mickey needed a new sundress altogether. So we stopped off at Ross to look at slips.

Apparently, they only come in brown.

Seriously, every single slip we looked at in Ross was brown, tan, or black. None of which go well under a WHITE sundress. So we decided to go around and look in Target. On our way out of Ross, we discovered that they literally block off the exits so that you can't get out of there without buying something. It's ridiculous. Only two registers were open, the rest lead to the exit but were blocked off with huge carts so no on could pass. So we decided to go around. And of course a line of carts is blocking the way to the exit. My parents led the way out through the entrance door, which the greeter at the front was none too happy with.

Target was a madhouse, but we managed to get a slip for my dress.

Then we decided to go to JC Penny's to pick up a sundress for Mickey and possibly find something for Momma to wear. Everything was going well until Momma took an outfit into the fitting rooms to try on. A line for the stalls was going out toward the isles it was so crowded. Luckily Momma got there before that happened. As I'm sitting there with Poppa and Mickey (Tinkerbelle was at work), I look up and watch as this boy, no older than fifteen, walks past this line of women and into the women's dressing room. He made eye contact with me and I gave him a "What the hell are you doing?" face. Shortly after, he was led out of the rooms by a woman with a walkie talkie and was telling the woman that he needed her to page his mother. She did so.

So Poppa promptly leans over to me and whispers, "It must be a bitch to be fifteen and be that lost from your mother." He didn't say it loudly, but apparently the boy heard him because he turned to look at us. Oddly enough, his "mother" was paged and he completely disappeared. I've never seen a wangster run so fast.

Shortly after, Momma came out of the dressing room (without the outfit. Apparently it didn't look good on her), and asked us who the boy was. Apparently, he had looked over the stall door at her before being escorted away by what she assumed to be security. Luckily she was dressed by the time he saw her, and she gave him her "angry mommy face."

What the kid was doing peeking over stalls? Well Momma and Poppa seem to think he was trying to get some cheap thrills over seeing women in their undies. But um...old women? Really none of the women in those stalls were under forty years of age. Apparently he had some kind of fetish, I guess I don't know.

Then we got back home and promptly went out to our fifth wheel to empty it. We may lose it to the repo guys and we wanted things like dishes and towels from inside before that happened. I lifted something wrong and now have a shooting pain in my left arm. Lovely.

So yes, those were my adventures today. Fun, no?

GRRRRRR!

The day is only half over and already it sucks balls. Between the major drama going on in the forum I'm in and all kinds of stupid crap going on in real life, I am in the pissiest mood ever.

I woke up late, thanks to the crappy thing known locally as Daylight Savings Time. Then I get out of bed to the oh, so welcoming face of Tinkerbelle, who for whatever reason is pissed off because Poppa went to work yesterday. I then get upstairs where everyone is just in the loveliest of moods. Tinkerbelle of course absolutely NEEDED to shower first, so she jumped in.....FOR 40 MINUTES. She got out at 11:30, Momma and I got into our different showers at noon. Half a freaking hour later, and I STILL wind up washing my hair in cold water. Because it's absolutely imperative that Tink get the damn shower first and then take the longest to wash her freaking body. God.

Then I get online to check emails, and PMs from the forums I'm in. And of course, proboards decides to be a douche and not load. Like ANY page at all. There's no warning, no thingy on the front page that says "performing maintenance," no. Just, "Oh, look! We're not going to let you access the boards because the site is run by idiots who can't give out some sort of warning that the sites are shutting down temporarily." Unless it's just my computer, in which case I am just that much closer to tossing this damn thing out a damn window.

*sigh*

And just now, Mickey came downstairs and knocked at my door in some kind of obnoxious little tune, which didn't even give me the chance to ask what she wanted without me having to open the door--topless, I may add, since I just got out of the shower. She then laughed hysterically about as she ran back up the stairs.

And on top of all of that, I have lost all ability to type properly. So forgive me but....

GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff!

I hate this time of the month. You know what time I'm talking about. It effing SUCKS. Just when I'm starting to feel better, not be so depressed and be happy for once, it hits me and my attitude changes again. From depression to irritability. Very rarely have I been feeling really happy lately. Usually depressed. Then to go from that to...just being pissed off all the time at nothing in particular...I HATE IT.

Doesn't help that my online drama seems to match the drama I'm getting at home. There's a girl online, the one who owns a forum I'm a part of, who reminds me so much of Tinkerbelle it's frightening. I go online to disappear from the real world, not wind up talking to a bitchy 19-year-old who treats me like crap cause she runs the forum! Then to deal with the others on the forum...ugh. Some RESPECT would be nice. I mean, I don't want a frickin parade when I come online but I would like to at least be treated nicely. Lately...I don't know, it just seems to be getting worse.

Though that could be because of the time of the month for me.

*sigh*

Well, now that I've successfully ranted, I don't feel any better. The nature of life, I guess. Oh, well.

Romance Woes

I don't even know where to begin with this...

First off, I do like my boyfriend alot. He's a nice guy with a good heart and good career. But there's the problem that I don't seem to be physically attracted to him. We've been dating for a year and haven't done anything besides hug and occasionally cuddle on the couch. No kisses or anything else. It's weird, but I don't WANT to kiss him. Not really.

Normally this wouldn't bother me, and I would tell him that I no longer wanted to be in a relationship. But the fact that he is my third boyfriend in my entire 21 years of life and I still haven't had a first kiss makes me wonder. Not about him, but about myself. The three boyfriends I've ever had have been nice guys with good hearts, and I haven't felt the desirable need to make out with them or even give them a peck on the cheek. Of course, my first boyfriend ever turned out to be gay and the second guy, it turns out, wasn't quite pure of heart. The guy I'm dating now though is decent and kind to the point of it being a fault sometimes.

I guess my point is....I'm worried about myself, as a person. I've already shown symptoms of depression and social disorders, though I've never been diagnosed officially. I spend all my time online recently and most of my friends are people I haven't even met face to face. I love romance...if it's on tv or movies or in one of my role plays, but it seems I have no real interest in it in real life, which worries me. I do want to someday meet someone and have kids, but how can I do that if I don't even want to kiss the guy I've been dating for over a year? It worries me....alot....I really hope nothing's wrong with me that keeps me from getting into a romantic relationship.

Sometimes I really hate the way I am.....

A Major Disappointment...

So guess what? Apparently I'm a major disappointment to my mother.

I'm not even joking. She actually called me a major disappointment. Apparently I'm lazy and don't do jack shit. Apparently I don't even try. Which now makes me a major disappointment. She's mad that I don't seem to have an opinion on us maybe having to move. Of course, I don't have an opinion on it. I don't want to move, but what the hell else am I gonna do? I have no choice, because I have no job. Oh, that's another point of contempt for her. I don't have a job. This apparently means that I'm lazy because I'm not even trying. That's not true. I am trying. Truth is, I've stopped trying because I've filled out thousands of applications in the last year and only got one fricken interview. That's it. One out of a thousand. And she wonders why I've stopped trying.

She came home from grocery shopping today and I got up to help her. I wasn't dressed yet, but we had this system that she would bring the groceries to the door and I'd bring the bags inside. This was so that she didn't trudge snow all inside the house and it made it so that I didn't have to go outside in my pajamas. So she comes home, and I got up to help her. She told me to sit back down and watch tv, then proceeded to tell me how lazy I am. She then went into how she and everyone else in my family apparently thinks something's mentally wrong with me because I don't want to do anything. She kept going on and on about how badly I've disappointed her. So I came down here to my room, where I will remain until lunchtime. If she wants to see lazy, I'll show her lazy. Her "biggest disappointment" will deliver, I can promise that. I'm sorry she hates her life, but that doesn't give her ANY right AT ALL to treat me like shit. I'll give her a reason, if she wants one, but the fact that she hates herself right now is no reason in my opinion.

So there you have it, the drama that is my mother. She's officially hurt her oldest daughter, and I think I may have hurt her, but right now I simply don't care. I'll apologize later, but for now, I'm not speaking to her. She thinks she can hold grudges for a long time? Just wait till she sees how long I can hold a grudge.

Christmastime is here again...

First off, I hafta say that my computer is being increasingly annoying today.

Anyway, Christmas.

It's my favorite holiday of the year. I love the songs, the lights, the presents...everything! We have all of our indoor decorations set up (unfortunately Momma wasn't feeling up to putting up the outside lights so our house is dark this Christmas), and there are presents under the tree. Today, Momma and I baked all day, so we have five different kinds of cookies ready to eat: chocolate chip cookies, candy cane cookies, fudge, oreo truffles, and refridgerator cookies. Yum nummy! It was alot of hard work, especially the candy cane cookies because the dough got all sticky and hard to roll. But now we have Christmas treats! Unfortunately this means that now I have to clean all day tomorrow. Momma's friend Wanda is coming over for Christmas this weekend (which is weird cause she usually comes after Christmas), so we have to make the house all nice for her. And I have a choir concert to attend on Saturday and Sunday night. I'm not exactly sure how good it's gonna turn out because I feel a sore throat coming on. I guess it's a good thing I didn't get a solo, huh? I'm just happy to be performing in front of a crowd again, even if it is among a large group of people (most of whom are twice my age and have three or four grandchildren...yeah, it's THAT kind of choir). Then just five more days till Christmas!

Oh! And 10 more days till 9 comes out on DVD! I'm excited for that!

WTF Youtube?

I will never understand youtube. Just the other day, I watched both Charlie's Angels movies using youtube. Today I go online and can't find either Charlie's Angels movie anymore. I mean, we're litterally talking about a timespan of two days; the video itself had been up for two years. Did youtube honestly miss both movies for two years, just now find them, and decide to take them down? Or were the videos just too awsome, and youtube is full of douche bags who like to take down popular videos?

Then just this morning, I went on, and it said I had one new comment. I clicked there, read the comment, then went back to the home page (I'm a packrat and keep everything, even useless youtube comments). The youtube homepage said I still had a comment! I went back, opened and closed the comment again, and went back to the home page again. This time it was gone. But that's not the point. The point is that I shouldn't have to go to my comments page twice to get rid of one useless comment saying something about how this guy agrees with me that some minigame on Mario Party 8 is based on luck, but luck is sometimes all you need or some crap like that. I suppose it's my own fault, really. I should just delete those useless comments....

Then there's the "recommended for you" section. What that does is search the database for videos I've watched before and finds videos related to them. It then recommends those videos to me. Usually I don't mind this (I found both StormDainProductions and sXePhil in this section, and I LOVE those guys!), but lately it's been giving me things that are not related to my interests AT ALL. For example, I have never once, in my entire time on youtube, looked up and watched a Micheal Jackson video (and now come the comments of hatred, but really, I like the songs I just don't watch the videos). Suddenly three out of the six recommended videos have Micheal Jackson's face on them. Tribute to MJ, Best MJ song....that kind of thing. Um, what? Not ONCE, people!

So I guess that brings me to the point of this blog post: WTF is youtube doing? They make no actual sense to any of us, as far as I know. And I guess I have a second question for this blog post: Why do we use youtube if we hate it so much? I guess the world will never know....