Taking Some Responsibility Would Be Nice!

I am so sick and tired of doing things right and getting stepped on because of it. I'm not an aggressive person, and I don't know how to be. It's not in my nature. So people take that as an advantage and use it to walk all over me like a cheap carpet.

I was at the DMV today to renew my registration for my car. It took all of twenty minutes and I was done. I had the little sticker and was on my way out the door. I got to my car, got inside and took my keys out of my purse. My keys were in my hand -- repeat, NOT IN THE IGNITION -- when I suddenly heard a loud scraping noise and my entire car began rocking back and forth. I turned around in my seat to see a young driver in a white Chevy Impala, firmly attached to the back bumper of my car. He obviously cursed and pulled all the way through (rather than stopping right there), which scratched my car further. I got out of my car and we exchanged insurance information. I probably shouldn't have given him mine, granted, and maybe the police should have been called. But in my never-wavering faith of people, I gave him my insurance info in exchange for his and drove away.

Now, like an idiot, I forgot to write down the name of his insurance provider.

I looked up his family online (with the information acquired from his insurance card) and called his house to get the name of his provider. He answered the phone and I heard his mother coaching him in the background. He didn't hit me, I backed into him, and his mother was there to witness it from the DMV window. I asked again for his provider's name and he simply said he had to speak with his parents before hanging up.

I'm sorry, he was alone in that car! And we were three or four isles away from the DMV window, so NO ONE could have seen the accident from there. I didn't even have the car on, and suddenly I'm being called a bad driver. Turns out I got hit my a Momma's Boy, and she is incredibly intent upon keeping her little baby's driving record perfectly clean.

I'm thinking that they're not going to claim it, and hope that the whole thing will just go away. Problem is that they underestimate the power of the internet. I have their home address and phone number, and I did fill out a police report online. We called Progressive (which I recalled as being his provider, but I'm probably wrong), and they took our claim information. And we called our own insurance company to find out what happens should they file a claim.

Now let me make one thing abundantly clear: I always -- ALWAYS -- look behind me when backing out, simply to avoid THIS EXACT SITUATION. I have a job, but not one that can pay for a hike in insurance prices to cover my car, so I drive carefully. I always go speed limit, and I always pay some kind of fucking attention when I'm driving down the road. Just because this 17-year-old pansy ass momma's boy won't pay attention to where the hood of his fucking car is, now I'm suddenly the one at fault.

Granted, I made some big mistakes in this situation.

But I did not -- repeat, NOT -- back up into him. Anyone who has ever ridden with me or watched me drive knows this. I am NOT a reckless driver. And screw that boy and his overprotective mother for saying so.

I think that he should take some responsibility for the accident that he caused, and his mother should make him do so, instead of protecting him from the law. A few days ago, a white Chevy Impala with a young driver nearly sideswiped Tinkerbelle as she drove to a job interview, then screamed at her saying that it was a brand new car (like it's some sort of excuse for not paying some kind of attention to the road around him). The description I made to Momma and Tinkerbelle of the boy driving matching that of the description Tinkerbelle has of the kid that almost hit her. If it is indeed the same driver (all the evidence matches up except for the fact that I'm not sure if the car had temp tags or not), then this little boy's momma needs to teach him how to drive rather than protect him from accidents. Otherwise he won't know what he's doing wrong and will wind up being seriously injured or killed in a car accident. And he needs to grow some kind of backbone and take responsibility for hitting a parked car in the parking lot. I'm beginning to wonder if he would have left any kind of information had he hit my car while I was still in the DMV, or if he would have just run and let it be.

Oh, and just for the record, had I been any slower getting into my car, my door would have been opened and probably damaged as well. I may have even been hurt, I'm not sure. If he's dumb enough to not pay attention to the hood of his car, then he may be dumb enough to try and pull into a space next to a car with their door wide open.

*le sigh* What an afternoon...

*heavy sigh*

Ever have one of those days where you just feel totally useless? Like you're not doing anything positive or significant with your life? This was one of those days for me.

I woke up feeling fine. Perfect, actually, and in one of the best moods I've been in in a long time. I'm up for a job of sorts, taking care of my mom's boss's daughter, so that's always good. At least it will be some money for a while, even if it's not much. I could start paying my cell phone bill and car insurance and take some of the pressure off my parents. Now if the lady would just call me back...

Anyways, I went on facebook earlier today. Most of my friends are old friends from high school who I try (and fail) to keep in contact with. Looking over all of their profiles today, I realized just how much all of them are moving on and doing things with their lives that make a difference and make them feel important. And here I am, just...stuck.

Even if I do get this job, it won't be enough money for me to move out on my own. At least not anytime soon. And I live in the suckiest town in America for acting, so I still won't be able to act even after getting money. I have this fear that I'll just be stuck for the rest of my life in a job and city I hate while all my friends move on and pursue their dreams, and I don't want that. I'm 22 years old and still living with my parents, and even after getting a job, I still can't move out. It sucks. Majorly.

And I don't know how to make it...not suck.

*le sigh*

Okay, so.

Not the best of days.

I got $20 from my grandparents for my birthday, and I have yet to spend it. Mostly because I don't know what I want to spend it on. So I thought it would be fun for all of us to go shopping today. Momma wanted some decorative things for her garden and Poppa was in the mood to spend some money. So was I. I originally wanted to go to the mall and walk around there. We wound up going to a sports warehouse to look at tents because we lost our RV (damn economy).

Then we get a call from Tinkerbelle, who was at work. She was coming home and offered to meet us at wherever we were. Poppa said it would just be easier for us to go home and pick her up so we wouldn't be wasting gas in two cars. So we picked her up and headed out...to an RV store.

Where they didn't even have RVs for us to look at!

Then we headed to an Ace Hardware store for Momma to find garden stuff. Tinkerbell mentioned wanting to go to American Furniture Warehouse to find a headboard. Meanwhile, my plans to go to the mall and have a nice day shopping around were dashed. We never got to AFW, because Tinkerbell threw a fit about going out in her Target garb. So we came back home for her to change. She promptly threw herself down on the couch and took a short nap.

Then my uncle calls because he found a car or RV or something and wants Poppa to come look at it.

Tinkerbell promptly threw a fit (as per usual), which pissed Poppa off and there was a huge blowup. I still never got to the mall, and still have $20 burning a hole in my pocket.

Remember that I was the one who suggested going out shopping.

We never did a damn thing I wanted to do.

Comcast is Effed Up

Okay, so we have Comcast as a cable provider. So far, I've been nothing but upset with them in the way they provide service. Both for the tv and for the internet. My internet will just randomly shut down for no reason, when I'm literally ten feet away from the browser thingy. And lately the signal for our cable has decided to cut in and out for no reason. It's annoying when you're watching tv and suddenly have no picture, or a picture that's all blocky and weird.

And now we find out that we're going to need a box for EVERY SINGLE TV IN THE HOUSE if we wanna keep our cable connection.

WHAT????

The reason we even got cable is because the dish required each television to have a box hooked up to it that we had to pay for. We couldn't afford it. And without cable or satellite dish, we literally get no tv service because of the fact that all tv's went to digital signals. Now Comcast has decided to screw every one of their customers over and REQUIRE them to have a box for every single tv, each costing at least an extra $10 a month. Which we can't afford.

I have a good idea! Let's make people pay more for their bills, but pay them less when they work! Isn't that an awesome idea?? Isn't it?

God Almighty, I really hate the way people think nowadays. If Comcast thinks they're going to keep customers outside of the people they pay to have the damn service, they're freaking retarded. Every single one of them. And yes, I do lump my cousin and uncle into that group, because they work for Comcast and are justifying the crappiness that is the extra charge.

*sigh*

I'm so pissed off right now. I like my tv. I sleep with my tv on. I watch tv every single day. And now I won't have it because we're not making enough money to pay an extra $10 a box. So guess what? I'm screwed out of a tv now.

Thank you, Comcast asses.

Happy Easter!

It's late, but a very Happy Easter to all! ^_^

I had fun yesterday, despite the fact that I was with family I don't...particularly enjoy being around. Although for some reason, my aunt seems to have some sort of aversion to baking a ham for Easter. We had...ham sandwiches, which isn't really...Easter dinner, in my opinion. My boyfriend came over too, though he came a bit later because he got home late from paintballing with his friends. I was in my church choir, and he chose paintballing over me. lol, I'm just kidding!! Anyway, he came later than the rest of us. I told them he'd be there, but my aunt had us all start eating anyway...without him. Kinda rude, in my opinion (apparently I have alot of opinions today...), but oh well.

Then we played video games till it was time to leave. Fun, fun.

Then we came home and watched the Informant. I kinda...fell asleep during the movie, but that's only because I'd gotten a crappy night's sleep the day before and had to wake up early yesterday morning for church. I slept REALLY well last night, though.

Oh yes, and we found out Kohl likes eggs.

So...that was my boring Easter. I had fun, even though I kept getting a little annoyed here and there. *shrug* It was nice for the most part.

Shopping Adventures

So today we had to go shopping to pick up some things for us to wear on Easter Sunday tomorrow. I needed a slip to go under my white sundress (which I'm wearing onstage under some hot spotlights so Momma insisted that I get a slip so the audience didn't get to see my skivvies), and Mickey needed a new sundress altogether. So we stopped off at Ross to look at slips.

Apparently, they only come in brown.

Seriously, every single slip we looked at in Ross was brown, tan, or black. None of which go well under a WHITE sundress. So we decided to go around and look in Target. On our way out of Ross, we discovered that they literally block off the exits so that you can't get out of there without buying something. It's ridiculous. Only two registers were open, the rest lead to the exit but were blocked off with huge carts so no on could pass. So we decided to go around. And of course a line of carts is blocking the way to the exit. My parents led the way out through the entrance door, which the greeter at the front was none too happy with.

Target was a madhouse, but we managed to get a slip for my dress.

Then we decided to go to JC Penny's to pick up a sundress for Mickey and possibly find something for Momma to wear. Everything was going well until Momma took an outfit into the fitting rooms to try on. A line for the stalls was going out toward the isles it was so crowded. Luckily Momma got there before that happened. As I'm sitting there with Poppa and Mickey (Tinkerbelle was at work), I look up and watch as this boy, no older than fifteen, walks past this line of women and into the women's dressing room. He made eye contact with me and I gave him a "What the hell are you doing?" face. Shortly after, he was led out of the rooms by a woman with a walkie talkie and was telling the woman that he needed her to page his mother. She did so.

So Poppa promptly leans over to me and whispers, "It must be a bitch to be fifteen and be that lost from your mother." He didn't say it loudly, but apparently the boy heard him because he turned to look at us. Oddly enough, his "mother" was paged and he completely disappeared. I've never seen a wangster run so fast.

Shortly after, Momma came out of the dressing room (without the outfit. Apparently it didn't look good on her), and asked us who the boy was. Apparently, he had looked over the stall door at her before being escorted away by what she assumed to be security. Luckily she was dressed by the time he saw her, and she gave him her "angry mommy face."

What the kid was doing peeking over stalls? Well Momma and Poppa seem to think he was trying to get some cheap thrills over seeing women in their undies. But um...old women? Really none of the women in those stalls were under forty years of age. Apparently he had some kind of fetish, I guess I don't know.

Then we got back home and promptly went out to our fifth wheel to empty it. We may lose it to the repo guys and we wanted things like dishes and towels from inside before that happened. I lifted something wrong and now have a shooting pain in my left arm. Lovely.

So yes, those were my adventures today. Fun, no?

GRRRRRR!

The day is only half over and already it sucks balls. Between the major drama going on in the forum I'm in and all kinds of stupid crap going on in real life, I am in the pissiest mood ever.

I woke up late, thanks to the crappy thing known locally as Daylight Savings Time. Then I get out of bed to the oh, so welcoming face of Tinkerbelle, who for whatever reason is pissed off because Poppa went to work yesterday. I then get upstairs where everyone is just in the loveliest of moods. Tinkerbelle of course absolutely NEEDED to shower first, so she jumped in.....FOR 40 MINUTES. She got out at 11:30, Momma and I got into our different showers at noon. Half a freaking hour later, and I STILL wind up washing my hair in cold water. Because it's absolutely imperative that Tink get the damn shower first and then take the longest to wash her freaking body. God.

Then I get online to check emails, and PMs from the forums I'm in. And of course, proboards decides to be a douche and not load. Like ANY page at all. There's no warning, no thingy on the front page that says "performing maintenance," no. Just, "Oh, look! We're not going to let you access the boards because the site is run by idiots who can't give out some sort of warning that the sites are shutting down temporarily." Unless it's just my computer, in which case I am just that much closer to tossing this damn thing out a damn window.

*sigh*

And just now, Mickey came downstairs and knocked at my door in some kind of obnoxious little tune, which didn't even give me the chance to ask what she wanted without me having to open the door--topless, I may add, since I just got out of the shower. She then laughed hysterically about as she ran back up the stairs.

And on top of all of that, I have lost all ability to type properly. So forgive me but....

GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff!

I hate this time of the month. You know what time I'm talking about. It effing SUCKS. Just when I'm starting to feel better, not be so depressed and be happy for once, it hits me and my attitude changes again. From depression to irritability. Very rarely have I been feeling really happy lately. Usually depressed. Then to go from that to...just being pissed off all the time at nothing in particular...I HATE IT.

Doesn't help that my online drama seems to match the drama I'm getting at home. There's a girl online, the one who owns a forum I'm a part of, who reminds me so much of Tinkerbelle it's frightening. I go online to disappear from the real world, not wind up talking to a bitchy 19-year-old who treats me like crap cause she runs the forum! Then to deal with the others on the forum...ugh. Some RESPECT would be nice. I mean, I don't want a frickin parade when I come online but I would like to at least be treated nicely. Lately...I don't know, it just seems to be getting worse.

Though that could be because of the time of the month for me.

*sigh*

Well, now that I've successfully ranted, I don't feel any better. The nature of life, I guess. Oh, well.

Romance Woes

I don't even know where to begin with this...

First off, I do like my boyfriend alot. He's a nice guy with a good heart and good career. But there's the problem that I don't seem to be physically attracted to him. We've been dating for a year and haven't done anything besides hug and occasionally cuddle on the couch. No kisses or anything else. It's weird, but I don't WANT to kiss him. Not really.

Normally this wouldn't bother me, and I would tell him that I no longer wanted to be in a relationship. But the fact that he is my third boyfriend in my entire 21 years of life and I still haven't had a first kiss makes me wonder. Not about him, but about myself. The three boyfriends I've ever had have been nice guys with good hearts, and I haven't felt the desirable need to make out with them or even give them a peck on the cheek. Of course, my first boyfriend ever turned out to be gay and the second guy, it turns out, wasn't quite pure of heart. The guy I'm dating now though is decent and kind to the point of it being a fault sometimes.

I guess my point is....I'm worried about myself, as a person. I've already shown symptoms of depression and social disorders, though I've never been diagnosed officially. I spend all my time online recently and most of my friends are people I haven't even met face to face. I love romance...if it's on tv or movies or in one of my role plays, but it seems I have no real interest in it in real life, which worries me. I do want to someday meet someone and have kids, but how can I do that if I don't even want to kiss the guy I've been dating for over a year? It worries me....alot....I really hope nothing's wrong with me that keeps me from getting into a romantic relationship.

Sometimes I really hate the way I am.....