A Major Disappointment...

So guess what? Apparently I'm a major disappointment to my mother.

I'm not even joking. She actually called me a major disappointment. Apparently I'm lazy and don't do jack shit. Apparently I don't even try. Which now makes me a major disappointment. She's mad that I don't seem to have an opinion on us maybe having to move. Of course, I don't have an opinion on it. I don't want to move, but what the hell else am I gonna do? I have no choice, because I have no job. Oh, that's another point of contempt for her. I don't have a job. This apparently means that I'm lazy because I'm not even trying. That's not true. I am trying. Truth is, I've stopped trying because I've filled out thousands of applications in the last year and only got one fricken interview. That's it. One out of a thousand. And she wonders why I've stopped trying.

She came home from grocery shopping today and I got up to help her. I wasn't dressed yet, but we had this system that she would bring the groceries to the door and I'd bring the bags inside. This was so that she didn't trudge snow all inside the house and it made it so that I didn't have to go outside in my pajamas. So she comes home, and I got up to help her. She told me to sit back down and watch tv, then proceeded to tell me how lazy I am. She then went into how she and everyone else in my family apparently thinks something's mentally wrong with me because I don't want to do anything. She kept going on and on about how badly I've disappointed her. So I came down here to my room, where I will remain until lunchtime. If she wants to see lazy, I'll show her lazy. Her "biggest disappointment" will deliver, I can promise that. I'm sorry she hates her life, but that doesn't give her ANY right AT ALL to treat me like shit. I'll give her a reason, if she wants one, but the fact that she hates herself right now is no reason in my opinion.

So there you have it, the drama that is my mother. She's officially hurt her oldest daughter, and I think I may have hurt her, but right now I simply don't care. I'll apologize later, but for now, I'm not speaking to her. She thinks she can hold grudges for a long time? Just wait till she sees how long I can hold a grudge.